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All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
Last post 06-12-2009, 5:32 by jazzx. 209 replies.
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11-09-2008, 23:50 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
Rescued: Taushungen Eines Fremden - Episode 1: Exposition (aka. Fallacies of a Stranger - Episode 1: Exposition)(German with English subtitles) by Meowan Genre: Murder Mystery Duration: 10 minutes - released Monday 20th August 2007, 53 ratings, 4.91 star average BBFC rating: /PG\ - for scenes of corpses ***** stars
I'd like to know more about how this suspenseful music was made. I have
my doubts that it's in any way original. But, like a detective, no
evidence = no charge. I suspect this film gets away with the crime scot
free as a result.
The movie is the beginning of an intriguing
murder mystery. These are/were very rare on this website and I'm
interested to see where this leads.
The lead role is played well and the dramatic beats are well handled.
That means the other two episodes have also been saved and will be watched at a later date.
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11-09-2008, 23:58 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
davidwww:Hopefully there's room on board for PERIERS 1944 http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/129006 and maybe THE HOURS http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/113532
Regards Davidwww
"Periers 1944" is already aboard. I'll check out "The Hours" in due course.
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11-10-2008, 0:06 |
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11-10-2008, 0:13 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
dude123456HasReturned:
Hmm - that's two of the same link. The film you linked to got ** stars and isn't getting on the lifeboat. For Pearson House: "Donna Kebab" and "Love at First Write" are already aboard. I'll check out "H-U-M-A-N".
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11-10-2008, 1:00 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
sickjoke's "Infiltration" has been rescued - either that or it infiltrated the lifeboat without me knowing: Infiltrationby sickjoke Genre: Action Spy Thriller Duration: 18 minutes - released Tuesday 12th February 2008, 7 ratings, 4.86 star average BBFC rating: (12) - for some mild swearing and action violence **** stars Let's get it out of the way - a number of things weren't very ![G o o d [Good]](/emoticons/g_o_o_d.gif) here. * Mumbling - after 3 years people still don't switch it off, and probably never will *
People getting shot without any consequence. Our hero gets shot and
wakes up right as rain in a prison cell. Nosferatu gets shot, and
appears unharmed in the next scene. * Not enough introduction to
the villain characters, and no real motive for the female heroine to
release our hero. Why did she do that? But. There
were some very memorable scenes and loads of evidence for a great
filmmaking eye at work - the battleship under the bridge was a great
visual. I was hoping it would blow up the bridge in an act of wanton
terrorism to get the picture started, but no luck! The editing
of the infiltration scenes was excellent - better action editing than
in the latest Bond film by a mile. You could see what was going on most
of the time, and the hits were handled very well - at times I could see
Daniel Craig ruthlessly dispatching the henchmen in similar fashion. It
was some of the best James-Bondish action editing I've seen on this
site. Well paced and very clear as to what was going on (are you
watching Marc Foster?) So, 3 stars becomes 4 just for that. Lots of nonsense, but beautifully shot in many places.

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11-10-2008, 3:49 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
Another survivor (with an appropriate title to match): Repo Rescuersby supercozz Genre: Wacky Comedy Duration: 10 minutes - released Sunday 1st January 2006, 132 ratings, 4.95 star average BBFC rating: (15) - for bad language **** stars A ![G o o d [Good]](/emoticons/g_o_o_d.gif) idea, the movie really kicked off when Lassie started talking to
the horse and a chain of unlikely events was put in motion to get a
rent/mortgage payment in on time. ![G o o d [Good]](/emoticons/g_o_o_d.gif) ending, but bad
beginning. The main character's speech problems thoroughly annoyed me;
I've never been a fan of that kind of humour. But thankfully it was
only in the first two or three minutes. After that, the film got alot
better and the laugh factor was dramatically increased.
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11-10-2008, 19:54 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
Here's another film which has become immortal: FINAL HOURSby davidwww Genre: Vampire Drama Duration: 23 minutes - released Tuesday 31st October 2006, 82 ratings, 4.83 star average BBFC rating: (12) - for one instance of bad language and scenes of mild gore and horror ***** stars Well - this was ![G o o d [Good]](/emoticons/g_o_o_d.gif) quality writing all the way through. Some
technical problems, such as an early shot where the camera passes
through solid objects, and a car chase scene in which the top of a
moving backdrop is visible. So, with about 2 minutes to go, this
was a safe 4-stars. A very well told story with nice action editing.
The music didn't always fit, lush romantic themes when she's going
around biting people didn't work for me. But the heavy metal was ![G o o d [Good]](/emoticons/g_o_o_d.gif)
when the action kicked off. Then came the ending - great writing
here, a beautifully atmospheric and appropriate ending to the film.
It's that last scene which makes this a 5-star film in my book. Dare I
say that with some ![G o o d [Good]](/emoticons/g_o_o_d.gif) VO, this could have been an absolutely
outstanding film.
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11-10-2008, 20:08 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
And here's another one that's made it onto the lifeboat: H-U-M-A-Nby pearsonhouse Genre: Robot Comedy Duration: 3 minutes - released Friday 10th February 2006, 219 ratings, 4.72 star average BBFC rating: U - suitable for all **** stars Some ![G o o d [Good]](/emoticons/g_o_o_d.gif) gags in this. I found the constant clicking in the VO and the
pauses between lines a bit grating, but it was still funny and well
worth watching. Nice music too.
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11-10-2008, 20:25 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
Seeing as the queue's now empty, I've chosen to rescue this song myself, from the massively talented Zamona ("Spell On You" is still my favourite and will have a special place on my harddrive): The Black Gypsy (Music Video) by Zamona Genre: Hip-hop Duration: 3.5 minutes - released Saturday 21st April 2007, 6 ratings, 4.5 star average BBFC rating: (15) - for bad language **** stars The visuals didn't make much sense, and the mumbling was turned on. But
the song was very ![G o o d [Good]](/emoticons/g_o_o_d.gif) with some nice melodic hooks in there ("to the
top! to the top!") ![G o o d [Good]](/emoticons/g_o_o_d.gif) performance!
I'm also posting the lyrics here, as those will disappear after 5th December: The Black Gypsy
I got more junk in my trunk, ya baby And I got to do what it is, I got to do Ya make some moves That’s what it is I got to live Or taste defeat I know that I see the enemy coming He’s taking no prisoners No one but you I ‘m lost in this groove Not messing with him Yes I came to win
And work my way to the top I aint gonna let you bring me down I’m gonna use what I got I’m gonna make this [shhhh!] hott
The Po Po’s hot on the block, pretty baby I got to move cannot stop Cause I’m crazy I got to do what I got to do Because one day I know I am going to make it
Yes I got to do What I got to do No messing around Here waiting for you You wont ever know Till you walk in my shoes “I am the Black Gypsy”
I know that I see the enemy I know that I see the enemy I know that I see the enemy The enemy The enemies coming For you…
Rap
The Vatican London Washington Oh [shhhh!], I forgot about Switzerland That’s the seed of Satan’s power We in the hour Of judgment Streets are more flooded with agents
Causing entrapment I done had it with the savage But most are still true brain damaged To understand Let alone Understand the science of madness That is being demonstrated We were castrated Now still held incarcerated Though slavery was outdated Once again Labors free in the penitentiary Aint no mystery About white supremacy Cause globally They got all the blacks Living in poverty Is that a coincidence Or highly strategic Method of oppression No question They done went way beyond Transgression (Rap Ends)
And work my way to the top I aint gonna let you bring me down I’m gonna use what I got I’m gonna make this [shhhh!] hott
And work my way to the top I aint gonna let you bring me down I’m gonna use what I got I’m gonna make this [shhhh!] hott
Lyrics by Zamona

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11-10-2008, 20:41 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
The queue's empty. There are 24 days remaining until every film on this site is extinguished forever. If you've seen a film that you fondly remember from the last 3 years, tell me about it. In the meantime, I'll be looking through my archives for incomplete series of films and downloading the remaining episodes.
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11-10-2008, 21:23 |
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davidwww
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
Thank you Jazzx for that last wonderful review of Final Hours, after so many comments about how it would be fantastic with VO's, I was fully intending to redo it with them, then I had a major problem and lost the saved files, all that was left was the finished version, maybe one day I will do a remake, because I agree it would be so much better with voices In regards to movies to save have you any of The Courage Within on board by Mefune Akira, infact just about all of LMAO studios movies are great.
Regards David
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11-10-2008, 21:47 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
davidwww:Thank you Jazzx for that last wonderful review of Final Hours, after so many comments about how it would be fantastic with VO's, I was fully intending to redo it with them, then I had a major problem and lost the saved files, all that was left was the finished version, maybe one day I will do a remake, because I agree it would be so much better with voices In regards to movies to save have you any of The Courage Within on board by Mefune Akira, infact just about all of LMAO studios movies are great.
Regards David
Thanks for the films. Of Mefune's films still on TMO, I have "Around Noon", "In The Cover of Darkness", "Super Duper Uber Galaxy Force", and "The Courage Within" series archived. I asked for the banned version of "Unwanted Hetero" a while back, but I think it's gone missing (if only I had started my archive way back when eh?) So - the remainder of MefuneAkira's TMO films will be watched in the following order: "Knock Knock!" "The Unwanted Hetero" "Trouble in Lonewolf!" "The Holy Visit" In other news - I've just downloaded Alex Bradley's "CAPITOL: Manifesto". All three parts are now in my archive.
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11-10-2008, 23:05 |
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11-10-2008, 23:51 |
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11-11-2008, 0:41 |
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jazzx
On set - performing in "How to Live Forever"
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
Thanks thebiz, all those will be watched - I certainly have my work cut out for me now! The only one of those I've watched is "Savage River" which got into the archive. To business: "Knock Knock!" by MefuneAkira scored *** stars and won't be rescued.
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11-11-2008, 8:15 |
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thebiz
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
Cool, I tried to get ones you hadnt reviewed and I didnt see a review for Savage River. movie.

Teaser out now
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11-11-2008, 11:22 |
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jazzx
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
thebiz:Cool, I tried to get ones you hadnt reviewed and I didnt see a review for Savage River. movie.
Yes - it looks like I have a rare original banned version of this film (lol - must be worth a fortune!). Mine went into the archive in April 2007, whereas the version currently online was released in May 2007 and there's no trace of any voluntarily removed version. I'll download the most recent version as well just in case.
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11-11-2008, 21:03 |
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jazzx
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
This film is very much wanted on the lifeboat: The Unwanted Hetero (Re-release) by MefuneAkira Genre: Sexual Orientation Comedy Duration: 3.5 minutes - released Saturday 18th February 2006, 159 ratings, 4.89 star average BBFC rating: U - suitable for all ***** stars A funny movie which cleverly reverses the sexual orientation stereotype
(the hetero being in the minority and trying to gain acceptance,
although for the purely selfish reason of rubbing shoulders with the
stars). A ![G o o d [Good]](/emoticons/g_o_o_d.gif) ending and with some hilariously bad English
accents adding to the laughs. This was one of the better short comedies
released here in the last 3 years.
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11-11-2008, 21:21 |
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jazzx
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
Here's another film that has survived the trouble on TMO: Trouble in Lonewolfby MefuneAkira Genre: Bizarre Comedy Duration: 7.5 minutes - released Sunday 11th June 2006, 172 ratings, 4.85 star average BBFC rating: /PG\ - for sexual references and violence **** stars
This one plays almost like a game-generated film - but with excellent narration and some amusing comedic beats.
Bizarre
comedy isn't really my thing, and quite a few jokes just didn't hit the
spot. But there was enough I did find funny to make this one
downloadable for the archives.
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11-11-2008, 21:33 |
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jazzx
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
And here's another comedy on the lifeboat: The Holy Visitby MefuneAkira Genre: Religious Comedy Duration: 3 minutes - released Tuesday 10th April 2007, 118 ratings, 4.95 star average BBFC rating: /PG\ - for mild gore ***** stars
Hehe - I liked that one, especially the various hackneyed The Movies
characters falling into the pit while the conversation was going on
(bunnies, clowns, review-for-reviewers [but where was the chicken?])
Funny stuff!
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11-11-2008, 21:49 |
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jazzx
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
A hidden gem rightly gets rescued: The Naughty Ideas of a Villain Called Daveby sidge14 Genre: Bizarre Sex Comedy Duration: nearly 3.5 minutes - released Sunday 5th November 2006, 8 ratings, 4.75 star average BBFC rating: /PG\ - for sexual references ***** stars
Loved the theme song and the VO for the two characters. Very funny
lines in the opening. And I loved the way the sidekick got told to shut
up as he was about to reveal an obvious plot hole!
I'm not sure there's much more than Stella in that bottle though, Newcastle girls are anybody's after a pint of that!
[just kidding - please don't pull my review until December 5th - pweeaaase?]
That also means the sequel, "The Naughty Ideas of a Villain Called Dave 2", gets put in the lifeboat as well. I'll watch that after December 5th.
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11-11-2008, 22:00 |
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jazzx
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
"Crazy-Insane-Psychotic" by tsunamidog was * starred for non-recognition of musicians and won't be saved.
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11-11-2008, 22:18 |
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jazzx
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
lerodent's "Hunting - The Dawn Through Today" scored *** stars and will not be archived. TMU has launched its own search and rescue helicopter. If you think a film should be archived, then there's two places you can now go. Like this thread, it's at their discretion whether it gets in or not - so it might be wise to submit to both threads so that the film stands the best chance of getting rescued.
"The TM Rescue Project"
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11-11-2008, 22:30 |
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jazzx
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
scubajoe's "Purgatory" got *** stars and hasn't made the archive.
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11-11-2008, 22:48 |
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jazzx
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Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!
Another film rescued: Cult Grimmby gnostradamus Genre: Psychological Cult Horror Duration: 7 minutes - released Thursday 31st August 2006, 51 ratings, 4.86 star average BBFC rating: /PG\ - for some disturbing scenes ***** stars
That turned out to be quite a film.
I wasn't that sure about it
after the first couple of minutes, but the overlays and the cartoon
were superb. It was a disturbing trip.
Some of the VO was a bit mumbled or low in the mix - particularly in the cartoon.
Absinthe is not mind-altering - that's a myth, it does make you very lazy the next day though!
A very original film, well worth saving.
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