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All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

Last post 06-12-2009, 5:32 by jazzx. 209 replies.
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  •  11-09-2008, 23:50 3219427 in reply to 3215877

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    Rescued:

    Taushungen Eines Fremden - Episode 1: Exposition (aka. Fallacies of a Stranger - Episode 1: Exposition)(German with English subtitles)

    by Meowan

    Genre: Murder Mystery

    Duration: 10 minutes - released Monday 20th August 2007, 53 ratings, 4.91 star average

    BBFC rating: /PG\ - for scenes of corpses

    ***** stars

    I'd like to know more about how this suspenseful music was made. I have my doubts that it's in any way original. But, like a detective, no evidence = no charge. I suspect this film gets away with the crime scot free as a result.

    The movie is the beginning of an intriguing murder mystery. These are/were very rare on this website and I'm interested to see where this leads.

    The lead role is played well and the dramatic beats are well handled.



    That means the other two episodes have also been saved and will be watched at a later date.







    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-09-2008, 23:58 3219438 in reply to 3219423

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    davidwww:
    Hopefully there's room on board for PERIERS 1944 http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/129006 and maybe THE HOURS http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/113532

    Regards
    Davidwww


    "Periers 1944" is already aboard.

    I'll check out "The Hours" in due course.

    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-10-2008, 0:06 3219449 in reply to 3219438

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    Penut's movies are funny. Check them out if you like, here's one of them.

    http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/108968

    Oh, and the three movies that are on PearsonHouse's movie page are great.

    http://movies.lionhead.com/studio/pearsonhouse

    TPK


    rogerSIMIAN:
    "Turn To The Fart Side, Luke!"
  •  11-10-2008, 0:13 3219458 in reply to 3219449

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    dude123456HasReturned:

    Penut's movies are funny. Check them out if you like, here's one of them.

    http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/108968

    Oh, and the three movies that are on PearsonHouse's movie page are great.

    http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/108968

    TPK



    Hmm - that's two of the same link.

    The film you linked to got ** stars and isn't getting on the lifeboat.

    For Pearson House:

    "Donna Kebab" and "Love at First Write" are already aboard.

    I'll check out "H-U-M-A-N".





    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-10-2008, 1:00 3219492 in reply to 3218077

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    sickjoke's "Infiltration" has been rescued - either that or it infiltrated the lifeboat without me knowing:

    Infiltration

    by sickjoke

    Genre: Action Spy Thriller

    Duration: 18 minutes - released Tuesday 12th February 2008, 7 ratings, 4.86 star average

    BBFC rating: (12) - for some mild swearing and action violence

    **** stars

    Let's get it out of the way - a number of things weren't very G o o d [Good] here.

    * Mumbling - after 3 years people still don't switch it off, and probably never will

    * People getting shot without any consequence. Our hero gets shot and wakes up right as rain in a prison cell. Nosferatu gets shot, and appears unharmed in the next scene.

    * Not enough introduction to the villain characters, and no real motive for the female heroine to release our hero. Why did she do that?


    But.

    There were some very memorable scenes and loads of evidence for a great filmmaking eye at work - the battleship under the bridge was a great visual. I was hoping it would blow up the bridge in an act of wanton terrorism to get the picture started, but no luck!

    The editing of the infiltration scenes was excellent - better action editing than in the latest Bond film by a mile. You could see what was going on most of the time, and the hits were handled very well - at times I could see Daniel Craig ruthlessly dispatching the henchmen in similar fashion. It was some of the best James-Bondish action editing I've seen on this site. Well paced and very clear as to what was going on (are you watching Marc Foster?)

    So, 3 stars becomes 4 just for that.

    Lots of nonsense, but beautifully shot in many places.


    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-10-2008, 3:49 3219594 in reply to 3219492

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    Another survivor (with an appropriate title to match):

    Repo Rescuers

    by supercozz

    Genre: Wacky Comedy

    Duration: 10 minutes - released Sunday 1st January 2006, 132 ratings, 4.95 star average

    BBFC rating: (15) - for bad language

    **** stars

    A G o o d [Good] idea, the movie really kicked off when Lassie started talking to the horse and a chain of unlikely events was put in motion to get a rent/mortgage payment in on time.

    G o o d [Good] ending, but bad beginning. The main character's speech problems thoroughly annoyed me; I've never been a fan of that kind of humour. But thankfully it was only in the first two or three minutes. After that, the film got alot better and the laugh factor was dramatically increased.


    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-10-2008, 19:54 3220683 in reply to 3219594

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    Here's another film which has become immortal:

    FINAL HOURS

    by davidwww

    Genre: Vampire Drama

    Duration: 23 minutes - released Tuesday 31st October 2006, 82 ratings, 4.83 star average

    BBFC rating: (12) - for one instance of bad language and scenes of mild gore and horror

    ***** stars

    Well - this was G o o d [Good] quality writing all the way through. Some technical problems, such as an early shot where the camera passes through solid objects, and a car chase scene in which the top of a moving backdrop is visible.

    So, with about 2 minutes to go, this was a safe 4-stars. A very well told story with nice action editing. The music didn't always fit, lush romantic themes when she's going around biting people didn't work for me. But the heavy metal was G o o d [Good] when the action kicked off.

    Then came the ending - great writing here, a beautifully atmospheric and appropriate ending to the film. It's that last scene which makes this a 5-star film in my book. Dare I say that with some G o o d [Good] VO, this could have been an absolutely outstanding film.


    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-10-2008, 20:08 3220699 in reply to 3220683

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    And here's another one that's made it onto the lifeboat:

    H-U-M-A-N

    by pearsonhouse

    Genre: Robot Comedy

    Duration: 3 minutes - released Friday 10th February 2006, 219 ratings, 4.72 star average

    BBFC rating: U - suitable for all

    **** stars

    Some G o o d [Good] gags in this. I found the constant clicking in the VO and the pauses between lines a bit grating, but it was still funny and well worth watching.

    Nice music too.


    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-10-2008, 20:25 3220733 in reply to 3220699

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    Seeing as the queue's now empty, I've chosen to rescue this song myself, from the massively talented Zamona ("Spell On You" is still my favourite and will have a special place on my harddrive):

    The Black Gypsy (Music Video)

    by Zamona

    Genre: Hip-hop

    Duration: 3.5 minutes - released Saturday 21st April 2007, 6 ratings, 4.5 star average

    BBFC rating: (15) - for bad language

    **** stars

    The visuals didn't make much sense, and the mumbling was turned on. But the song was very G o o d [Good] with some nice melodic hooks in there ("to the top! to the top!")

    G o o d [Good] performance!


    I'm also posting the lyrics here, as those will disappear after 5th December:

    The Black Gypsy

    I got more junk in my trunk, ya baby
    And I got to do what it is,
    I got to do
    Ya make some moves
    That’s what it is
    I got to live
    Or taste defeat
    I know that I see the enemy coming
    He’s taking no prisoners
    No one but you
    I ‘m lost in this groove
    Not messing with him
    Yes I came to win

    And work my way to the top
    I aint gonna let you bring me down
    I’m gonna use what I got
    I’m gonna make this [shhhh!] hott

    The Po Po’s hot on the block, pretty baby
    I got to move cannot stop
    Cause I’m crazy
    I got to do what I got to do
    Because one day I know I am going to make it

    Yes I got to do
    What I got to do
    No messing around
    Here waiting for you
    You wont ever know
    Till you walk in my shoes
    “I am the Black Gypsy”

    I know that I see the enemy
    I know that I see the enemy
    I know that I see the enemy
    The enemy
    The enemies coming
    For you…

    Rap

    The Vatican
    London
    Washington
    Oh [shhhh!],
    I forgot about Switzerland
    That’s the seed of Satan’s power
    We in the hour
    Of judgment
    Streets are more flooded with agents

    Causing entrapment
    I done had it with the savage
    But most are still true brain damaged
    To understand
    Let alone
    Understand the science of madness
    That is being demonstrated
    We were castrated
    Now still held incarcerated
    Though slavery was outdated
    Once again
    Labors free in the penitentiary
    Aint no mystery
    About white supremacy
    Cause globally
    They got all the blacks
    Living in poverty
    Is that a coincidence
    Or highly strategic
    Method of oppression
    No question
    They done went way beyond
    Transgression
    (Rap Ends)

    And work my way to the top
    I aint gonna let you bring me down
    I’m gonna use what I got
    I’m gonna make this [shhhh!] hott


    And work my way to the top
    I aint gonna let you bring me down
    I’m gonna use what I got
    I’m gonna make this [shhhh!] hott


    Lyrics by Zamona







    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-10-2008, 20:41 3220771 in reply to 3220733

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    The queue's empty.

    There are 24 days remaining until every film on this site is extinguished forever.

    If you've seen a film that you fondly remember from the last 3 years, tell me about it.

    In the meantime, I'll be looking through my archives for incomplete series of films and downloading the remaining episodes.

    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-10-2008, 21:23 3220846 in reply to 3220683

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    Thank you Jazzx for that last wonderful review of Final Hours, after so many comments about how it would be fantastic with VO's, I was fully intending to redo it with them, then I had a major problem and lost the saved files, all that was left was the finished version, maybe one day I will do a remake, because I agree it would be so much better with voices
    In regards to movies to save have you any of The Courage Within on board by Mefune Akira, infact just about all of LMAO studios movies are great.

    Regards
    David
  •  11-10-2008, 21:47 3220879 in reply to 3220846

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    davidwww:
    Thank you Jazzx for that last wonderful review of Final Hours, after so many comments about how it would be fantastic with VO's, I was fully intending to redo it with them, then I had a major problem and lost the saved files, all that was left was the finished version, maybe one day I will do a remake, because I agree it would be so much better with voices
    In regards to movies to save have you any of The Courage Within on board by Mefune Akira, infact just about all of LMAO studios movies are great.

    Regards
    David


    Thanks for the films.

    Of Mefune's films still on TMO, I have "Around Noon", "In The Cover of Darkness", "Super Duper Uber Galaxy Force", and "The Courage Within" series archived.

    I asked for the banned version of "Unwanted Hetero" a while back, but I think it's gone missing (if only I had started my archive way back when eh?)

    So - the remainder of MefuneAkira's TMO films will be watched in the following order:

    "Knock Knock!"

    "The Unwanted Hetero"

    "Trouble in Lonewolf!"

    "The Holy Visit"


    In other news - I've just downloaded Alex Bradley's "CAPITOL: Manifesto". All three parts are now in my archive.

    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-10-2008, 23:05 3220975 in reply to 3220879

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

  •  11-10-2008, 23:51 3221012 in reply to 3220975

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

  •  11-11-2008, 0:41 3221062 in reply to 3220975

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    Thanks thebiz, all those will be watched - I certainly have my work cut out for me now!

    The only one of those I've watched is "Savage River" which got into the archive.


    To business:

    "Knock Knock!" by MefuneAkira scored *** stars and won't be rescued.

    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-11-2008, 8:15 3221275 in reply to 3221062

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    Cool, I tried to get ones you hadnt reviewed and I didnt see a review for Savage River.  G o o d [Good] movie.




    Teaser out now

  •  11-11-2008, 11:22 3221476 in reply to 3221275

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    thebiz:

    Cool, I tried to get ones you hadnt reviewed and I didnt see a review for Savage River.  G o o d [Good] movie.



    Yes - it looks like I have a rare original banned version of this film (lol - must be worth a fortune!). Mine went into the archive in April 2007, whereas the version currently online was released in May 2007 and there's no trace of any voluntarily removed version.

    I'll download the most recent version as well just in case.

    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-11-2008, 21:03 3222629 in reply to 3219427

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    This film is very much wanted on the lifeboat:

    The Unwanted Hetero (Re-release)

    by MefuneAkira

    Genre: Sexual Orientation Comedy

    Duration: 3.5 minutes - released Saturday 18th February 2006, 159 ratings, 4.89 star average

    BBFC rating: U - suitable for all

    ***** stars

    A funny movie which cleverly reverses the sexual orientation stereotype (the hetero being in the minority and trying to gain acceptance, although for the purely selfish reason of rubbing shoulders with the stars).

    A G o o d [Good] ending and with some hilariously bad English accents adding to the laughs. This was one of the better short comedies released here in the last 3 years.

    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-11-2008, 21:21 3222656 in reply to 3222629

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    Here's another film that has survived the trouble on TMO:

    Trouble in Lonewolf

    by MefuneAkira

    Genre: Bizarre Comedy

    Duration: 7.5 minutes - released Sunday 11th June 2006, 172 ratings, 4.85 star average

    BBFC rating: /PG\ - for sexual references and violence

    **** stars

    This one plays almost like a game-generated film - but with excellent narration and some amusing comedic beats.

    Bizarre comedy isn't really my thing, and quite a few jokes just didn't hit the spot. But there was enough I did find funny to make this one downloadable for the archives.




    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-11-2008, 21:33 3222683 in reply to 3220975

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    And here's another comedy on the lifeboat:

    The Holy Visit

    by MefuneAkira

    Genre: Religious Comedy

    Duration: 3 minutes - released Tuesday 10th April 2007, 118 ratings, 4.95 star average

    BBFC rating: /PG\ - for mild gore

    ***** stars

    Hehe - I liked that one, especially the various hackneyed The Movies characters falling into the pit while the conversation was going on (bunnies, clowns, review-for-reviewers [but where was the chicken?])

    Funny stuff!


    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-11-2008, 21:49 3222710 in reply to 3222683

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    A hidden gem rightly gets rescued:

    The Naughty Ideas of a Villain Called Dave

    by sidge14

    Genre: Bizarre Sex Comedy

    Duration: nearly 3.5 minutes - released Sunday 5th November 2006, 8 ratings, 4.75 star average

    BBFC rating: /PG\ - for sexual references

    ***** stars

    Loved the theme song and the VO for the two characters. Very funny lines in the opening. And I loved the way the sidekick got told to shut up as he was about to reveal an obvious plot hole!

    I'm not sure there's much more than Stella in that bottle though, Newcastle girls are anybody's after a pint of that!

    [just kidding - please don't pull my review until December 5th - pweeaaase?]



    That also means the sequel, "The Naughty Ideas of a Villain Called Dave 2", gets put in the lifeboat as well. I'll watch that after December 5th.

    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-11-2008, 22:00 3222732 in reply to 3219427

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    "Crazy-Insane-Psychotic" by tsunamidog was * starred for non-recognition of musicians and won't be saved.

    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-11-2008, 22:18 3222768 in reply to 3221476

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    lerodent's "Hunting - The Dawn Through Today" scored *** stars and will not be archived.


    TMU has launched its own search and rescue helicopter. If you think a film should be archived, then there's two places you can now go.

    Like this thread, it's at their discretion whether it gets in or not - so it might be wise to submit to both threads so that the film stands the best chance of getting rescued.


    "The TM Rescue Project"






    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-11-2008, 22:30 3222797 in reply to 3220975

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    scubajoe's "Purgatory" got *** stars and hasn't made the archive.

    Click to visit JazzX Productions
  •  11-11-2008, 22:48 3222843 in reply to 3220975

    Re: All aboard the JazzX Lifeboat!

    Another film rescued:

    Cult Grimm

    by gnostradamus

    Genre: Psychological Cult Horror

    Duration: 7 minutes - released Thursday 31st August 2006, 51 ratings, 4.86 star average

    BBFC rating: /PG\ - for some disturbing scenes

    ***** stars

    That turned out to be quite a film.

    I wasn't that sure about it after the first couple of minutes, but the overlays and the cartoon were superb. It was a disturbing trip.

    Some of the VO was a bit mumbled or low in the mix - particularly in the cartoon.

    Absinthe is not mind-altering - that's a myth, it does make you very lazy the next day though!

    A very original film, well worth saving.




    Click to visit JazzX Productions
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