Quoting: goofparade

Wow Jazzx that story about the making of "Five Stars" was a good read, thank you. Informative too, the patented "shaving" technique is a fool proof fix to the sound bug (but as you said it takes skill and mounds of patience) I'll bet you got emotional..eureka! you finally had it! Oddly enough, my first movie on TMO was Hammerhead, a song of mine, which kept drifting as I attempted to export it. In the end, I started shaving bits of scenes down to compensate for the offset. The final export was acceptable. It worked well enough for me back then but... since then I have steered clear of making any movies whatsoever! Yay? nice bit of story telling there, I enjoyed five stars and gave it..heh heh.. five stars.. gp

Not strictly true - "Bill Dixon Motors"? Best ad on TMO? I gave your Arsetones music vid 5-stars! Quite right too - I expect that will be featured in November's edition of the "JazzX Movie Vault" - I definitely remembered that one.

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 Quoting: 6-headedmonster

just thought i'd clear things up.... the PG13 version was a sarcastic jab at lionhead...not a PG safe version.... i dont do those I never knew you actually liked this movie... bonus

Thanks for correcting me - there were many great comedic moments in your film (but Captain Tourettes wasn't one of them).

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Lol - a combination of illness and recent forum shenanigans means that I'm slightly tardy this month - but better late than never! Fortunately, June 2006 was a lean month, so just a shorty today - then in a couple of weeks I'll get stuck into July 2006 which was much more livelier. All the following films scored 4-stars or more from me and are available for download on request if no longer present on the site. [C] denotes classic status. June 2006 Highlights "Make Poop" (Music Video) Quite a naughty music video which was well produced and used good scene selection for its filthy subject matter! "Pirates! - Episode I" [C] Back in a time when men were men - so far back it was even before Stunts and Effects, we get this piece of swashbuckling entertainment. The cheek shown to even attempt a pirate film using The Movies, and before freecam, was audacious to say the least. But it works! This, TMO's first pirate film, was well worth the ticket price. A director's cut and sequel were made. A groundbreaking film for The Movies. "The Ultimate Showdown" (Music Video) This one got pulled for copyright as they had `borrowed` the song. But they were up front about who the real artists are, so I had no problem with this personally. Beautifully put together, there's real pulse and rhythm to this glossily slick music vid - the chosen shots match the lyrics very nicely . "Oh It's On - Remix" (Trailer) I'm featuring a trailer here for the first and possibly only time because it had a rather unique style where the two main characters are presented as if inside a videogame - doing battle against each other a la "Street Fighter". So this short film has a story all of its own and is in no way just a series of clips from Oh It's On 3 (the film it's advertising). As usual with anything to do with this series, the production quality is very high. Also archived this month: "9-11-01" "Acherion IV" "The Claw" There are currently 512 films in the archive - the latest addition being "He Truly Is" by Zuckerman. See you in a couple of weeks for July 2006

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 Quoting: jazzx

"Bobby" [C] Mr Rainbow is a bit of a sad TMO story - his first major film, that I mentioned last month, was a work of exceptional genius. "Chaplin's Tribute" was indeed that. Lovingly recreated in black and white and featuring Chaplin's own jazz standard "Smile". It was clear that everything he was doing was in service to a cinematic legend that he really loved. I was suspicious of the music - I could tell the music wasn't Mr_Rainbow's, it was definitely lifted from somewhere - but when I found out to my amazement that one of my favourite jazz ballads was written by Chaplin himself - then it just seemed that the choice of music was an addition to this reverent homage. Full respect to Chaplin was given by this film. I urge you to request this film from my archive - you won't be sorry you did. Anyway - I kicked up a bit of a fuss when it got pulled. Me and Mr_Rainbow became friends. I am a one-star ninja when it comes to people who use music without saying thankyou - but I believe that if you show proper respect to the musicians, then there's nothing wrong. And if that happens to be Charlie Chaplin, who you've spent weeks or months on turning into a TMO film as a homage - then I defy any human being who's ever loved something that much to say that what he did was wrong. I was shocked by the decision to pull this film - it is still, in my mind, without question the worst decision ever made by the powers-that-be on TMO regarding a single film. Meanwhile - countless other films have made the top of the charts on uncredited or copyrighted music and been "hot picked" (those "hot picks" have long been a joke to me). And they've clearly exploited their musicians, whereas Mr_Rainbow was clearly paying homage to someone I didn't realise was a musician at all until watching his classic. Mr_Rainbow, who is Italian, was so taken with the passion with which I defended his film that he asked me to name the dog in his next project (well - to give him some British dog names). I told him of the legend of "Greyfriar's Bobby" the Edinburgh dog who, legend has it, stayed at his master's grave 14 years after he died from Tuberculosis. I think this is a legend with at least some truth in it - as it's not a particularly outlandish story. Anyway - I suggested he call his dog Bobby. And he accepted. This film is billed as the first film to "star a dog" on TMO. If anyone can show me an earlier one, I'm all ears (lol). It's a great film that puts some of the later dog films to shame. It also shows off some good lightning effects for the time as well. I loved the film. Here it is - don't post in my thread until you've watched it (just kidding - but I'm telling you, you'll love it). Bobby This was the last film Mr_Rainbow ever made - when I talked to him last (about 11 months ago) he said that he was disillusioned with TMO. I fear that the disgraceful way he was treated over "Chaplin's Tribute" sucked the very TMO life out of him (I'm not surprised - he poured love into every scene of that project, all filmmakers who got to watch it said the same). All that effort, all that talent - and we've lost it thanks to some faceless, loveless bureaucrats - or was it you that flagged it? (and shame on you if it was) - certainly one of my top 5 "disgraceful moments on TMO". I again say, I have "Chaplin's Tribute" and I'm almost begging you to ask me to send it to you. It's that good. But, if not, just click the link above and watch a proper animal hero film. The original and the best.

Hi Jazzx, hi FRIEND! many time is over, and I am still not active with the game, as you said....but I am a little bit nostalgic of this world, and sometimes I am back here, to read at least something in the forum, or see some movie (very rarely). So I found now this your post and.... I wish to say you that i am AFFECTED and I thank you of about your words...!!! luck and "CIAO" (Bye) to You!

 Quoting: Mr_Rainbow

Hi Jazzx, hi FRIEND! many time is over, and I am still not active with the game, as you said....but I am a little bit nostalgic of this world, and sometimes I am back here, to read at least something in the forum, or see some movie (very rarely). So I found now this your post and.... I wish to say you that i am AFFECTED and I thank you of about your words...!!! luck and "CIAO" (Bye) to You!

Wow! It must've been a year! Lovely to see you! Make another film - go on! A new generation of TMO-ers needs to see how a PROPER filmmaker does business! To everyone else: Mr_Rainbow is a brilliant, but sadly retired, filmmaker (go on, come out of retirement! Please.) What a terrific honour this is. Come back to TMO, we need you, JazzX

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 Quoting: jazzx

Wow! It must've been a year! Lovely to see you! Make another film - go on! A new generation of TMO-ers needs to see how a PROPER filmmaker does business! To everyone else: Mr_Rainbow is a brilliant, but sadly retired, filmmaker (go on, come out of retirement! Please.) What a terrific honour this is. Come back to TMO, we need you, JazzX

Thank you again, but I changed my life in this year, and I still don't have a Computer in my new house, now.... And even if......I have to buy S&E.... Maybe in the future...? Never say never :-) Jazzx, we see eachother at 29 september, in the Worldchampionship of Rugby: Italy Vs Scotland.... ;-) Win the best!

 Quoting: Mr_Rainbow

Thank you again, but I changed my life in this year, and I still don't have a Computer in my new house, now.... And even if......I have to buy S&E.... Maybe in the future...? Never say never :-) Jazzx, we see eachother at 29 september, in the Worldchampionship of Rugby: Italy Vs Scotland.... ;-) Win the best!

Ha-hah ... Scotland gave away three tries to Italy in the first 15 minutes last time (that's like 3 touchdowns in the first quarter for those not acquainted with rugby). May the best team win indeed my friend! JazzX

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So, our journey through the vault takes us to July 2006. As usual, all these scored 4 stars or more and are available from me on request. [C] means it is a classic that must be watched at all costs! July 2006 Highlights "High Hopes Sanitarium" [C] A journey through the depths of fear - you'll need to be put in a loony bin after watching this! Some of the shocks are genuine jump-out-of-the-seaters! "Oh It's On 3" [C] Oh It's Amazing! Even a full year later, the animation and effects sequences in this film have rarely been equalled and never bettered. This film is even more impressive than the first two classic episodes in the series. "Wizards of the Compass" Excellent Lord of the Rings clone. "The French Insurrection" [C] (Illuminani Studios version) This one documents the rise and fall of France's opposition to Activision's decision not to release the expansion in their country. It earns its classic status not so much through this film (which is full of good gags at Activision's expense), but because of the political campaign of non-compliance it represents. As described in the film ("the only language they know is spamming") - several French filmmakers went on to spam the charts with films all named "The French Insurrection" thereby clearly voicing their opinion and showing their numbers. A piece of TMO history. Hard to tell if this was the first French Insurrection film though. "Ode to Meat" This one is definitely no longer available here (it was probably banned long ago anyway) - as its creator 6-Headed-Monster had his studio closed down recently, presumably for over-stepping what Activision consider the boundaries of taste once too often. His films were very adult in language, tone and visuals (this one has full-frontal female nudity). It's true that this film sets out to shock, but there's a great poem at the end which fully shows that we have been taken through the mind of a deranged serial killer - the editing of the disturbing images is of an extremely high standard as is the eerily quirky music. "Underworld" This Fraasmovies film stars the "hell" mods which he made specifically for the movie. Worth seeing just for that. "How to Catch a Girl" Some good naughty gags and a hilariously naughty song in this comedy. "The Light in the Dust - Part II" [C] The classic thriller series continues with all the features that made Part I so good to watch. Also archived this month: "The Rescue (Voice Edition)" "Success" "Cold Creek Pass" "Close Encounters With Aliens 1" "America!" "It Came From Where It Had Been" There are currently 522 films in the archive, the latest addition being Norriefpb's "Old Folk Funk Train" (Music Video) Next month (August 2006) see's the first 3 Prufrock winning films/series - it's a golden month in which 43 films made the archive. So until then, see you later!

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It's September, that means a trip back to August 2006 for some true classics in my movie vault.

That month was when I opened my 4 review threads simultaneously (Recent, Random, Top Charted and Open).

 

No fewer than 43 films scored the required 4-stars or more to get into the archive, among them some true classics... but enough of my chatter, let's take a journey down memory/discovery lane:

 

August 2006 Highlights

 

[C] = Classic must-watch status

 

 

"Hellmut & Helge" (German w. English subtitles)

 

Bizarre comedy with some great production values.

 

 

"Pilate - A Story of Christ - Part I" [C]

 

You don't have to be religious to appreciate this stunning roman epic. Nothing like this had ever been seen on TMO, a truly superb film. Part II would later earn the series the fifth Prufrock Award for Outstanding Cinema - the highest accolade that I can bestow on any film series.

 

 

"Doctor Who: Vampires of Armageddon II"

 

Excellent continuation of this well realised old-school Doctor Who story.

 

 

"Fire & Forget III"

 

Superior atmospheric action thriller.

 

 

"Kurt Starr I"

 

"Kurt Starr II"

 

This subtitles-only sci-fi series has some priceless lines and very well drawn characters - a rarety worth checking out.

 

 

"The Jeremiah Mystery I"

 

This novel game asked you to predict what would happen after the end of the film. I never did get to see - but it's a idea.

 

 

"End of Memories I"

 

A very spy film in the James Bond mold - but with an extremely well-acted female spy in the lead role.

 

 

"Restless Dead V"

 

Very nice zombie movie, one of the best.

 

 

"K for Killer" [C]

 

This is a truly classic excursion into the depths of a warped mind - superb acting, made me worried that we had a real-life sicko making TM films.

 

 

"Alfred Prufrock Considers the Infinite" [C]

 

A film so I had to invent an award for it! The cinematography is outstanding as are the indelible images left imprinted on the memory - some of the most imaginative ever seen in a TMO film. Very performances and music too. This is classy real-life cinema made with a computer game - my definition of any film that has pretensions to winning a Prufrock Award for Outstanding Cinema. Superb and unmissable.

 

 

"Quietus I" [C]

 

"Quietus II" [C]

 

This sci-fi horror series has breath-taking special effects and top-notch acting. A great story and a worthy winner of the second Prufrock Award for Outstanding Cinema.

 

 

"Oh It's On Funk" [C]

 

Another classy Oh It's On film - this time with funkiness added among the usual superb comic-book-style artwork and effects.

 

 

"Hitman Part I: Training" [C] (French w. English subtitles)

 

Stunning camerawork, attention to detail, and lively performances are the main features of this excellent crime film. It was awarded the 3rd Prufrock Award for Outstanding Cinema.

 

 

"Donna Kebab"

 

This gentle comedy has a great twist to it. If you're a girl with a kebab addiction, and you've been putting on weight - you should definitely watch this!

 

 

"The Kingston Kidnapping"

 

If James Bond was an African American living today in South LA - he might be involved in a story like this one. An excellent action film with great music and spirited performances.

 

 

also archived in August 2006:

 

"Comedy Corner 3"

"Polo-Man"

"Mighty Powerful Colourful Robots"

"Manny Jones on Tour"

"Manny Jones on Tour 2"

"Trapped"

"Utopia I"

"Utopia II"

"The Deception"

"The Deception 2"

"No Haven for the Dead"

"Homage an The Movies Vision" (German w.English subtitles)

"Battle for Earth: First Contact"

"Above Belief"

"Soviet Academy"

"Arockalypse"

"Mr Smith"

"Funky Time in Funky Town"

"Counter Terror Wrists"

"Marauders 4"

"Hell House"

"Showdown"

"Outward 1: The Threat"

"Outward 2"

"Warship Dracoclaw"

"Warship Dracoclaw 2"

 

 

There are currently 536 films in the archive, the latest addition being "Dog Pound" by rysto. All films are available on request.

 

See you next month! :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

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It's September 2006, a vintage month for TMO films - let's look through the vault and remember the treats that lie therein ("[C]" means a classic film mot to be missed):

September 2006 Highlights


"End of Memories 2"

The continuation and finale of this excellent female James Bond film



"An Eye for an Eye"



"Malloy - Chapter 1"

"Malloy - Chapter 2"



"The Silent Enemy - Muscular Dystrophy" [C]

The 4th winner of The Prufrock Award for Outstanding Cinema. This film is a poem delivered from the disease's perspective. Very poem with visuals to match - an original way of treating a difficult subject. The filmmaker's brother was taken by the disease, which makes a winning film even more impressive.



"Laddie's War"

.... .... what's that Laddie? ... you've seen a really film? ... ..  about a dog that roots out nazis in 40s England? Sounds ...



"Love at First Write"

An unashamed chick flick. Very very well done romantic film.



"Choices"

This is right out of the top drawer. Three parallel stories about the same woman and her life choices in three parallel universes. Career v family being the central question. We are all faced with choices in our lives, but right now you have no option but to watch this film!



"Ashley Porter and Shadow Meet Laddie"

... what's that Laddie? ... a new friend? ... a horse called Shadow? ... nazis in England?!! No way ... I agree Laddie, his accent is a bit funny, you better investigate - take Shadow with you ...



"Jack the Ripper - Part 2" (German w. English subtitles)

I never got to see part one - which is a shame, because this is just a fantastic version of the story of Victorian London's nastiest serial killer.



"Pilate: A Story of Christ - Part II" [C]

The classic historical epic comes to a close and gets the 5th Prufrock Award for Outstanding Cinema.  Truly a magnificent piece of work in every department.



"Mancini"

This film remains the best sports film on TMO. The real-life story that inspired "Rocky" is done thorough justice in this biopic.



"Dignity of Men" [C]

The 6th winner of The Prufrock Award for Outstanding Cinema. An exceptional film. Superbly acted, and with a stomach churning plot involving torture and the struggle to maintain dignity while being taken apart piece by piece. At times relentlessly brutal, but always relentlessly brilliant.


"Game Station"

"Game Station II"

These make for an entertaining quiz game. It's a shame the filmmaker was ostracised by the community (via the thankfully defunct rep system and "Low Karma" badges) for being too enthusiastic about these nice films he made. Elsewhere in this thread I've mentioned my least favourite TMO moments. The bullying and antagonism towards this individual was right up there. Eventually, he said some things he shouldn't have to a moderator and got thrown out - but the way he was treated long before that was just terrible. Thankfully, I can't see a situation like that ever happening again. These films are here on merit - looks like we lost a filmmaker (even if he did have a bit of a mouth on him).



"Hide & Go Seek"

The traditional children's game - as played by massive monsters using the city as their playground! I really like this one - script too (the rabbit is hilarious as it sees itself as invisible)



"The Garden of Eden"


Also archived from this month:

"Where is Waldo?"
"Believer"
"Rose Rage"
"Rose Rage 2"
"Rose Rage 3"
"Rose Rage 4"
"1900-666-HELL"
"Channel Hopper"
"Crovie"
"Battle for the Beginning 2 - The Struggle"
"Weakness of Spirit"
"The TMOscars - Laughing is Fun"
"Last Time I Tried to Commit Suicide"
"The D and Judge Judy"
"Decisions"
"Rise of the Dead"
"Coming Out!"
"The Degenerates"
"The Degenerates 2 - Lane is Risen"
"The Degenerates 3 - Infestation"
"Mystery of the Wicked I"
"Mystery of the Wicked II"
"Mystery of the Wicked 3 - Explaining"
"Listen!"
"Into the Tree"
"Man Vs Robot"
"It's Payback Time"
"Perfume Commercial v2"
"Drinking Crap"
"Alien Concept"

All are available from my archive upon request - there are currently 550 films in the vault. The latest addition being "The Dead Cases - Part I" by jase180.

See you next month (hopefully).

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Wow this is an amazing idea!

hmmm... what's a really old movie.....

ummmm....? Do you have the TMoscars by StevenKreg the first one. Or the TMO roast?

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Concerts I have witnessed lately:

1) Avenged Sevenfold
2) AC/DC
3) Metallica!

If you would like to see a 5 star movie watch and rate " Royal Gangster " made by Starkarts. About gang/mafia in the mid 1940's. Here is the Link:

http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/142023

Hope you enjoy!

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Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.
- yoda

Umm I think you might be confused Let me help you out here.

What jazzX is doing here is taking old "famous" movies and archiving them (storing them) so that way if anyone wants one of those movies you can just ask and he'll give you one

But I guess you could pm him and ask.

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Concerts I have witnessed lately:

1) Avenged Sevenfold
2) AC/DC
3) Metallica!

starkarts:

If you would like to see a 5 star movie watch and rate " Royal Gangster " made by Starkarts. About gang/mafia in the mid 1940's. Here is the Link:

http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/142023

Hope you enjoy!

This one goes in my open review thread:

http://community.lionhead.com/forums/38/2246431/ShowThread.aspx

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Staree_Films:

Wow this is an amazing idea!

hmmm... what's a really old movie.....

ummmm....? Do you have the TMoscars by StevenKreg the first one. Or the TMO roast?

I didn't see the TMOscars (Steve Kreg version) and the "TMO Celebrity Roast" errmm ... didn't make the 4-stars that all films in the archive must score to get in.

There's some ones next month, including "Horror of the Werewolf" and "Little Black Riding Hood" among others.

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This month marks 2 years of The Movies, nearly one year since I started this thread. Where does the time go, eh?

October 2006 this month, and some very nice films:

October 2006 Highlights

"Short and Curly" Episodes 1 & 2

In this comedy series, two time travellers have some increasingly hilarious adventures. Very overlays and the title music is great (made by marvellousguppimovies).


"Horror of the Werewolf"

This film is a great homage to your typical teen horror film. Very entertaining and with some terrific acting by the lead.


"Screw" (German w. English subtitles)

What an original story - completely bizarre but it's kind of a sci-fi set in the afterlife. Great production values, as we've come to expect from the top German studios;  VO performances, original music and sonic/visual effects. Well worth watching.


"Almost Human" Parts 1 & 2

This is an original idea for an experimental film (I don't think it was ever completed). The filmmaker has taken an old 50s sci-fi radio show and put pictures to it. Special attention to detail was spent on getting the characters' body language to be convincing. It works, you don't notice that there's no lip-synch after a short while.


"It is Not Nice to be Hunted" Parts 1 & 2 (German w. English subtitles)

Well - this comedy is bizarre from the start. A bank manager attempts to rob his own bank for kicks every night and always gets caught by the police - because he's bored of life! I won't give away what happens after that because there are many surprises that shouldn't be spoiled. The writing in this is extremely funny.

I was very pleased to be given the lead role for an English version of the film and sent back my lines accordingly. So far, though, there's no news as to whether the English version will ever be released.

It's won a ton of hotpicks and awards, and yet part 2 only received 28 ratings which is criminal for a film of this quality and at a time when lesser films were getting well over 100 ratings.


"Sparks Fly"

An intriguing film with themes revolving around love, karma and spirituality.


"No Greater Fury" (Music Video)

Some great comic book-style overlay work in this entertaining music vid about what happens when you cheat on a woman (and he definitely does cheat - prudes should not watch this film [lol - "NUDE MOD WARNING!"]). Superb punchline too. The music is "38 years old" by Llama, a band found on Newgrounds and it works well with what's on the screen.

"Internal Darkness" Episodes 1 & 2

This VO-less series (actually, that might no longer be accurate - but these first two efforts certainly were) has some terrific writing. You are left in no doubt about the characters and who they are - I likened it to reading a really well written book in my review. music too.


"The Perfect Date"

It could be the greatest night of your life - you finally get to date the woman of your dreams. You sit down for some food after having watched the terrible "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" and she's laughing at your jokes and enjoying your conversation - but something's not right in your tummy... DISASTER! You need to go to the toilet!!! Lol .... worse still, it's diahorrea ...

Cue a gross-out comedy classic - and I don't usually go in for toilet humour either.

A very uncomfortably hilarious watch because this is something that could happen to anyone.


"Little Black Riding Hood"

This thoroughly horrific updating of the fairytale stars stellar camerawork, visual effects and genuine suspense. The actors are not native English speakers but bravely deliver their lines in English and do a job.


Also archived for this month:

"Dead Man's Party" (Music Video)
"In His Mind"
"Shadow of Mine"
"Noose" Episodes 1-6
"All Your Base"
"The Brave and the Foolish"
"Secret Promise"

There are now 569 films in the archive - the latest addition being "Phantoms" by Orkish Studios.

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Hey Jazz. An excellent list of very films and some i still have to check out!
Thanks for metioning CC3.
Derby

derbyrams:

Hey Jazz. An excellent list of very films and some i still have to check out!
Thanks for metioning CC3.
Derby

Thanks for making it!

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This month, we look back to November 2006 - I was away in America for much of the time, hence the slim pickings on offer here. There's still some quality films though:

As usual, you can request any of the films in my archive - I know that Rik_Vargard's "K7 Quarantine" is no longer available, but luckily for you it's in my vault.

November 2006 Highlights

"Stan Still the Standup Man"

This was a new concept - a full standup comedy routine done with The Movies. A couple of the jokes were rubbish, but that can be said for any comedian. With a nice variety of crowd shots and reactions, this experimental film succeeded in spades.


"The Genie's Curse - A Dr Spooky Tale"

A retro-trippy film with psychadelic backdrops and an even more psychadelic hero. Not even the filmmaker could make this film again if they tried!


"K7 Quarantine"

No longer available on TMO (was it banned?) - this futuristic Matrix-style cyberpunk sci-fi wowed audiences with its relentless pace and flashy camerawork. It sports some explosive action scenes.


"Bill Dixon Motors"

Who will challenge this film for the honour of "Best 'The Movies' TV Commercial"?
Such a well made advert - Bill Dixon will stop at nothing, even getting himself shot out of a cannon, to sell you a new used car.


Also archived this month:

"Spellbook"
"The Precipice" (Episodes I & II)
"Jade Dragon Odyssey" (Episode I)
"Space Generation: The Next Encounter"
"Jane Blonde Bond vs Blonde"
"Biohazard Lifeline" (Remake)


There are now 584 films in the archive, the latest addition being "A Split Second" by kuroken.

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year!

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Happy New Year!

What better way to kick off 2008 than with a trip back to December 2006 (hehe - it's "In with the Old and Out with the New" in this thread).

More detailed information and stats will now be presented for each featured film where possible + a link where a film is still available for download (otherwise you can request it from my vault).

December 2006 Highlights

[C] = classic must-watch film

Scramble (Part One) [C]

by postmodernchuck

Genre: Drama/Thriller/Sci-Fi

Duration: 16.5 minutes - released Fri 3 Nov 2006, 141 ratings, 4.98 star average


"Stories usually have a beginning and an ending, this one has neither ..."
One of my favourite lines in all of TMO cinema for so many reasons.

This film was my first acting performance in a movie not of my own making. I had just released "Midnight City - Urban Warrior II" which begins with a 2-minute section where my character talks while the screen is completely black. I hadn't done any substantial acting in any film before that - but amazingly, postmodernchuck came knocking on my door out of the blue. That two minutes was enough for him to put me in the lead role of "Detective Alan Deller, Police Division 9, Homicide". A brave (foolish?) decision by the director to entrust such an important role to a complete unknown.

As soon as I saw the script, I started peeing myself! Such a beautifully written piece of work, without question some of the best writing ever seen on TMO to this day. I just hoped I could pull it off without sucking. Eventually, I overcame my self-doubt and decided that "if he doesn't like it, he'll send the lines back and we'll sort it all out".
He didn't send a single line back - although he did put my overacted final scream on the cutting-room floor, replacing it with a sound effect! (grrrr ... lol)

It must be every actor's dream (even in the real world) to get a script like this. I had loads of fun interpreting the lines - even changing them on occasion to suit the character - trying to give the director as many options as possible (I regularly did alternate takes for the meatier lines).

Here's an example - in the film Deller says:

"... Which means Division 7 wants to get its grubby little fingers in our pie!"

But in the script, he just says "Which means Division 7 wants a piece of the action"

I kept the same meaning but translated it into what I thought my adopted character would come out with.

This script is full of opportunities for interpretation and, when it gets poetic on yo' ***, it's no exaggeration to say that it's - at times - better than anything Shakespeare ever wrote. What actor wouldn't want these lines?:

"Is this the beginning?  These things are hard to tell.  The static swimming in my brain buzzes with a constant drone, and all I have left are the fragments of a narrative I don’t understand.  Static – endless static.  And as that jagged lullaby splinters into my memory like shards of glass, a cold sickness hits me – quick and painful.  The world opens up – opens up and swallows me whole.  Everything smears into a thick, watery blur.  I am veiled behind the shadow of my memories.  It’s all a blank screen."

When I saw the final film that you ARE about to watch (if you haven't already) - I quickly forgot I was even in it. The camerawork and the music and the dense atmosphere created just draws you into this futuristic world. Dulci is superb as the leading lady - you even get to see her naked!! [suddenly renders the previous 20 paragraphs null and void].

I feel honoured and grotesquely lucky to have been given this as my first acting role for someone else's film. I can honestly say that if this was the only film I did any acting on, I would be quite satisfied with my lot. As it is, I got to be in loads of other very films as a result - but this one, obviously, occupies a special place in my heart.


Chat Room

by sidy

Genre: Horror

Duration: nearly 7 minutes - released Sat 28 Oct 2006, 634 ratings, 4.89 star average


This superb horror successfully captures that late-night, alone-on-the-computer-chatting-with-some-distant-friends atmosphere. I'll say no more - but if you haven't seen it, you're in for a scary treat when you do ...


Paralysis by Analysis - Part 1 (not online)

by Chat Noir Studios

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Just over 16 minutes - released  Monday 4 Dec 2006,  56 ratings, 4,89 star average


This excellent rom-com seems to have been shelved by this studio - there was supposed to be a part 2.

Even without part 2, this episode is unique. It was possibly the very first comedy for intellectuals on TMO, and there haven't been many others made since. What's more, it's extremely witty and genuinely funny. Why this wasn't developed further I do not know. This film is great stuff and, although no longer online, my elves packaging the films in my vast movie vault are eager to please and will provide you with a copy within hours.


Hammerhead

by goofparade

Genre: Music Video

Duration: 2.5 minutes - released Sat 21 Oct 2006, 35 ratings, 4.91 star average


This is one of the few music videos that star a filmmaker's own outfit (The ArseTones in this case). It's a song with well chosen camera shots to match. My favourite is the visual accompanying the "superhand" lyric.



Revenge of the Bullied One

by tomasm

Genre: Black Comedy

Duration: 16.5 minutes - released Sat 16 Dec 2006, 111 ratings, 4.63 star average


This seemingly typical "underdog-wins-through" story is well put together and acted. Lots of music as well. But! Take my advice and switch it off exactly on 8:52. It goes well stupid after that - but it's a superb watch up until then.



Internal Darkness 3 - Call it Fate (not online)

Duration: 25.5 minutes - released Sun 3rd Dec 2006, 7 ratings, 5 star average


and Internal Darkness 4 - Specter

by IISharperII

Genre: Supernatural Drama

Duration: just over 25 minutes - released Fri 15 December 2006, 14 ratings, 5 star average


The director of these films is currently in the process of remaking them with VO - but even without the VO, there's no denying the quality of writing and editing throughout the series. A very original story that will have you hooked as much as you would be reading a novel. It doesn't feel like 25 minutes at all, just a damn story.


Lucky Starr! - Chapter One

Duration: 4 minutes - released Tue 26 Sep 2006, 13 ratings, 4.77 star average

Lucky Starr! - Chapter Two

Duration: nearly 4.5 minutes - released Wed 4th Oct 2006, 9 ratings, 5 star average

Lucky Starr! - Chapter Three

Duration: 5 minutes - released Wed 11th Oct 2006, 5 ratings, 5 star average

and Lucky Starr! - Chapter Four

by MJBarlow

Genre: Science Fiction Serial

Duration: nearly 7 minutes - released Fri 3rd Nov 2006, 7 ratings, 5 star average


No VO in these films (the first of which is the director's first TMO movie) but that doesn't detract from a very well written and paced series. The heroine is a very memorable and well drawn character with some great one-liners in every episode. These films successfully capture the "Flash Gordon" sci-fi serial feel but with much better writing.


Long Road

by melghoul1

Genre: Fantasy Road Movie

Duration: nearly 11 minutes - released Tue 5th Dec 2006, 84 ratings, 4.81 star average


The appearance of some of the characters in this film defies description. One character is a floating eyeball, for example!
This is a super-chilled out film, the locations and shots are very original and the whole thing meanders beautifully along like a .. a ... oh just watch it and you'll see ...


Jade Dragon Odyssey - Part II

by KatanaSoul

Genre: Martial Arts Fantasy

Duration: 8 minutes - released Sun 12th Nov 2006, 5 ratings, 5 star average


Superior kung fu film with classy editing, costumes and sets.


   
No One Waits Forever -One- (German w.English subtitles)

by mlederer

Genre: Spy

Duration: 8 minutes - released Thu 21st Dec 2006, 99 ratings, 4.78 star average


This is great fun - it's got the guns, the gadgets, the girls, the cheesy one-liners, a title song written and performed by me and my sister and a certain suave secret agent ... except he's 70 years old! - brought out of retirement for one last mission... yes, Max Capacity is back!



Sagebrush Shenanigans

by skarsten

Genre: Comedy

Duration: 12 minutes - released Mon 31st July 2006, 31 ratings, 4.77 star average

A well made tribute to the Marx brothers with acting performances.



Also archived this month:

"On Another Planet"
"The Remnant"
"Fated (Part I)"
"Foreigner"
"The Last March"
"Far Cry"
"The Werewolf Hunter"
"A Time to Die"
"On the Air 2"


There are currently 596 films in the archive, the latest addition being "No One Lives Forever -Two-" by mlederer.


Next month promises to be another bumper installment, see you then!

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Hey Jazz,

I think the Long Road might be the best modder/stoner film on TMO.  A addition (as are the many others).

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Teaser out now

thebiz:

Hey Jazz,

I think the Long Road might be the best modder/stoner film on TMO.  A addition (as are the many others).

Yes - "stoner"  is the word I was looking for.

Next month will star bongoman's "The Truth of Mars" series. "The Truth of Mars - Dream" is a worthy contender for "Best Stoner Film on TMO". Your own recent film should also be mentioned in this category I reckon!

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Well, perhaps Lionhead should add the stoner genre in The Movie 2 eh...hehe.  Keep up the  work.

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Teaser out now

jazzx:

There are now 569 films in the archive - the latest addition being "Phantoms" by Orkish Studios.

Woah - That's a real honor to get my movie put in your archive, Jazz! These are certainly a grand list of films - You're doing the community a big favor by keeping all these classics alive .

- Orky.

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Holy Frijole Jazzx, I've only ever made two crappy little movies and you picked them both! Haha.

I KNEW that voodoo mind control spell thingy I purchased in Port O' Prince would pay off in the long run!. ...the guy did say that it may take a while though...

...